{"id":1048,"date":"2026-01-09T12:59:24","date_gmt":"2026-01-09T12:59:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/johnnycarlos.com\/?p=1048"},"modified":"2026-01-09T12:59:24","modified_gmt":"2026-01-09T12:59:24","slug":"toxic-grassculinity","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/johnnycarlos.com\/index.php\/2026\/01\/09\/toxic-grassculinity\/","title":{"rendered":"Toxic Grassculinity"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Wife asked me: Why do you put the houseplants outside each week?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I said&#8230; Because I want them to grow absolutely enormous.  I have Toxic Grassculinity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"683\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/johnnycarlos.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/ToxicGrassculinity-683x1024.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-1050\" srcset=\"https:\/\/johnnycarlos.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/ToxicGrassculinity-683x1024.png 683w, https:\/\/johnnycarlos.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/ToxicGrassculinity-200x300.png 200w, https:\/\/johnnycarlos.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/ToxicGrassculinity-768x1152.png 768w, https:\/\/johnnycarlos.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/ToxicGrassculinity.png 1024w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 683px) 100vw, 683px\" \/><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Wife asked me: Why do you put the houseplants outside each week? I said&#8230; Because I want them to grow absolutely enormous. I have Toxic Grassculinity.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1050,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"cybocfi_hide_featured_image":"yes","footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1048","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-comedy"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/johnnycarlos.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1048","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/johnnycarlos.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/johnnycarlos.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/johnnycarlos.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/johnnycarlos.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1048"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/johnnycarlos.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1048\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1051,"href":"https:\/\/johnnycarlos.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1048\/revisions\/1051"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/johnnycarlos.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1050"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/johnnycarlos.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1048"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/johnnycarlos.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1048"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/johnnycarlos.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1048"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}