I’m in the process of quitting coffee. Forever? Probably not. I love quitting coffee apparently. I’ve done it many times. Dozens perhaps. Coffee has me. An addiction. And I hate it. I hate that. I want it to go away forever. I do want to quit. But why? It just doesn’t feel right. I prefer the life I had before I knew about it. I dont like how much control it has over me. If i could sistil it down to a single, best reason: I drink it to not feel bad. At first we drink coffee because it feels good. It felts soo good we want more so we dirnk more. Then over a long period of time it starts to change us. It becomes the thing we must do first. “Nothing happens util I’ve had my coffee”. But why? I believe it’s because at that point, if you don’t drink it, you will feel bad. And that’s the reason we now drink it, to not feel bad. It’s completely different than drinking it to feel good, that no longer happens. And I can’t have that in my life. I want that to stop.
I’m down to what probably amounts to a cup and a half. I think of it as a homeopathic amount. One thing I observe when I’m in this range is that I dream at night. Over the years of drinking coffee, I never realized that it robs you of your dreamjng. I thought it was age. Or perhaps I never even noticed that the dreaming stopped. But when I start reducing coffee, it’s like the broken movie projector light bulb gets replaced with a fresh one. That’s one of the reasons I feel like coffee just aint right. And I know other drinkers would call me insane for wanting to stop. I know. Believe me I know.
So here I go again. Trying to end the madness. I think my longest streak was 4 months. A nice long time, but of course I feel back into the trap. Perhaps if I write it down in a blog post, I can hold myself accountable. Or be embarrased enough by seeing it posted that I can actually do it this time. Forever.
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